Randomness

So, life got in the way.  Again!  But my girl @betty on twitter inspired me to find a way to keep up to date with posts.  It's hard going to university full time and doing this but I love it so I'm going to keep doing it.  I had so many plans.....  If you've been following me for a while I can bet you're pretty tee'd off at all the promises for a better blog that just haven't quite come off.  What can I say?  I'm human.  The heart is willing but uni just takes it out of me.  I'm finding a way to balance the 2 on top of all my other 'projects'.

The good weather is here.  But I'm looking at my wardrobe like 'yikes'!  What the hell do I wear? Here in the UK it's warm one minute and cold the next!  And you know I'm still feeling a little let down by the plus size fashion industry.  Don't get it twisted I know we've come a long and kudos to the plus size fashionistas and designers trying to change this but we just quite not there in my opinion.  The plus size industry hasn't twigged to the recession.  As a poor student I feel this most.  I can't afford the prices for plus size clothes.  It hurts like hell to go into a store like Primark and know you can pick up an entire outfit with £20  but can't fit into them then go to a plus size store and one blouse is £20....on sale!!!?!!!???  I'm campaigning for a a plus size Primark.  Anyone with me?  I know quality is important and when I have a bit of money in my pocket that is what I'll buy but when I haven't I need affordable clothes.  Of course I could just make my own.  Which is what I have reverted to doing but sometimes I want the shopping experience and the variety that comes with that!

I'm not in the best of places I guess with mental and emotional stress.  Somehow it's at times like these I feel I need a break or a holiday.  I can't do that so I'm having to soldier on.  It's hard enough plus size holidaying when you are in the sanctuary of a group of people that know and love you but on your own leaves you to dealing with the stares, comments etc on your own.  I mean you can ignore them when you have your partner, friends etc to cushion you.  But to be plus size and worse still single and alone?  You're asking for misery.  I could be wrong. Anyone tried it?  Let me know please.  If you know a nice quiet peaceful place a plus size sistah can escape to on her own, affordable etc. that will be good. I neeeeed it!!!!  Or maybe you're looking for a plus size companion to travel with you?  Let me know.  For my European, American plus size travellers if you're wanting to come to London or the UK on holiday but are worried about being on your own drop me a line I can be your guide/companion if you plan to come so you're not alone.  I can help you do it the plus size way.  And if you're willing to host plus size travellers let me know.  I know a lot of plus size travellers who would love to visit Europe and American and all over the world the plus size way.  

On the side, Big Girls Paradise (check them out on www.biggirlsparadise.com) hold events in London for plus size people to dance and let their hair down.  I haven't been yet but looking forward to it next week.  Will let you know.  But note to self.  Create holiday 'sanctuary'/ retreat for plus size people. I have a looooong list! ;)

Okay so you know how I feel about how plus size people are wrongly treated in the health and medical fields.  I have preached and preached and preached on here about the lack of real knowledge doctors and health professionals hold on 'obesity'.  I had to laugh this week when the NHS told a body building woman,, quite obviously fit, that she needed to lose weight and exercise more.  Check it out via this link on page 2 - you might have to enter an email address to read sorry :( but worth the read:
 http://e-edition.metro.co.uk/2014/03/27/ . It's hilarious!  They know very little these doctors.  We need to be honest in the doctors office so they can really learn how to help us.  If we hold back for fear of offending them with out 'fatness' they will continue in their ignorance and the rest of the world with them! Lol.

Oh well.  That's my random thought pattern for the week.  With to tip about blog post planning from a my twitter friend I hope my blogs will be a little more regular from now on.

Stay beyoutiful bigyoutifuls,

RayRay xx

The Lion and The Elephant

Hi bigyoutifuls!

So today.  It's story time.  Bear with me and please read or listen to it if you can.  I really need your feedback.  I've written a kind of children's story which kind of speaks to helping people understand about size and the responsibility that we all have for each other in the world in terms of how we speak.  What we say to  people is more powerful than any other thing which can affect a person and we should use this power wisely.  Though this is changing its been disgraceful how the world has unified in its ignorance on the plus size.  Instead of building up they destroy in their words.  As a child my mother often told me stories passed down to her about animals in the savannah and how they lived and often there was a message in these stories to teach about how we should interact as humans.  I have made up one of my own and hope you will enjoy it.  Please please please let me know what you think.  I'd love to hear your thoughts about this.  

I decided to record the story as well as you may prefer to hear it audibly but both the recorded version and the one you find below are copyrighted. I have started writing children's books and I am currently looking for a publisher.  But I am keen to get your feedback so I know what to perfect.  Or even your feedback on the message I am trying to get across.  The pictures I have used are of course not my own and have been garnered from the internet under the search copyright free pictures but I will be working with an illustrator so the final version will contain those drawn by the illustrator.

Listen on:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo-NdUGs6Ms


I know you're not children and don't need a child's story to understand things but maybe there is child you know or who is in your life who might benefit from this message about how not everybody  is the same size and that that's okay and that that' what makes the world beautiful.

Hope you take the time to read and share.  If you want a copy of the book let me know and I'll reserve a copy for you when it's published.   :)

Enjoy!

THE BEGINNING

Once upon time deep in the savannah grasslands of Southern Africa lived a group of African animals.  Lots of animals lived in this kingdom and they got on with each other quite happily. But there were two animals who seemed not to always get on and they were the lion and the elephant.


When all the animals would gather at the watering hole to drink the lion would provoke the elephant and roar "I'm the king of the jungle", and the elephant would respond, "well be that but leave me alone to go about my business please".  The lion would roar again striding up and down the watering hole to show off his strong muscles and body and say proudly, "I can run faster than any animal here.  Just look at my shiny golden mane.  How beautiful is that?  I am too strong for any animal too escape me.  Every animal here wants to be and should be like me".  

Lion looked at the elephant with a taunting gaze waiting for the quiet elephant to respond.  The elephant looked up from its drinking and said quietly to the lion, "I may not run as fast as you but as big as I am I can still run fast enough and I am very strong".  "What?!, strong? you?", replied the lion. "Pah! Never!" said the lion.  Lion knew inside that this was true but didn't want to lose face in front of the other animals at the watering hole and so gibed cruelly at the elephant, "I don't mean to be unkind", said the lion, very much intending to be, "but elephant, you are just too big.  It's not very attractive and it probably is what makes you so slow.   I didn't want to be the one to tell you", said the lion, "but the other animals and I agree, you spoil the look of the jungle.  No wonder we're not getting as many safari's through here", the lion taunted and then laughed, "I mean they can't even get a sunset because you're so big you blot out of the sun!  Elephant", lion said unkindly, "quite frankly you eat us out of our houses and homes!"


Elephant looked round at the other animals to see if they agreed and lion quickly asked "isn't that right everyone?"  "Yes! Yes! Yes!", they all shouted, too afraid to go against the lion and elephant felt as though the world had collapsed.  Elephant only wanted to go about his business and live as peacefully as he could with the other animals in their lovely savannah home.  Elephant didn't know he was too big.  He had always been that way and didn't know how to be anything else.   He looked at the other animals with tears glistening in his eyes and said, "I'm truly sorry" and slowly walked away.

"Good!" said the lion looking at the other animals around the watering hole, "it had to be said.  Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.  Yes, yes, this is for his own good".  Some of the animals patted the lion on the back and cheered him on for being so good and if any didn't think so they didn't speak up lest they were turned on next!

Weeks, months went by and elephant had not been seen at the watering hole.  At first the animals didn't notice his presence but some began to wonder out loud where could elephant be.  It didn't feel the same without elephant at the watering hole.  All they got was lion showing off about how strong and beautiful he was.  Some of the animals were quietly discussing this when in the distance as the sun was setting they could see a dark figure approaching the watering hole.  The animals were on alert because they didn't recognise the animal coming towards them. As the animal drew closer the animals gasped at what they saw!  It was elephant!  But a skinny elephant.

                                       

Elephant what's wrong they cried?!"  "Wrong?", said elephant in a weak voice,  "there's nothing wrong.  I went on a diet to get smaller so you would all feel comfortable.  Now there'll be more safari's around here, I won't block out the sun and you'll all have much more to eat".  The animals just stared.  Elephant did not look right to them!  Elephant looked very sick and was so thin they felt his bones might snap if he continued to stand.  "Here take a seat elephant before yo collapse", said one of the other animals.  "Oh thank you said elephant.  I have to admit I can't walk very far these days and I haven't the energy or power to stand for very long". 

Just then lion arrived at the watering hole roaring loudly and this almost turned into a squeak the minute he saw elephant.  "Oh h h hello elephant, been a long time", said the lion.  "Yes", said elephant.  "I have been working hard to get smaller and be more like you and everyone else so I don't stand out as much".  In that moment lion felt very bad.  He realised what he had done.  Because he hadn't felt very good about himself he had made another animal feel so bad they changed who they were.  "Oh but elephant, that's not quite what I meant" lion tried to say.  "No, no", said elephant, "you were right.  I look much better now don't I everyone?"

Everyone looked at each other and lion spoke.  "Elephant, I'm sorry.  You don't look very well at all.  This is worse.  You are too skinny for an elephant  I was very wrong.  You were fine as you were.  Big, strong, powerful and beautiful.  Just as you are meant to be.  As elephants are meant to be.  I see that now.  Being like me has made you ill and unattractive.  Please believe me when I tell you that only I can be a lion, and you only you can be an elephant.  I am so sorry I was wrong before please believe me.  There is no reason elephants and lions can't mix and drink at the watering hole".  "Do you mean it lion?", said the elephant.  "I have suffered so much just so I could be like you.  I have been the weakest I have ever been in my life.  But I wanted so much to bee like all of you.  Small.  But I can't be.  I am big.  I am an elephant and I will never be a lion or any other animal but an elephant.  I like living with you all of you and if you accept me as elephant I hope you like living with me too.  As I am.  I'll eat a lot of leaves, lol?  Is that okay?"

"Yes!"  Everyone shouted!  "Yes!"  So lion and elephant and all the animals continued to drink and chat around the watering hole just like in the old days.   But not quite like the old days.....because this time there was no taunting an teasing and provoking.  Just good friendship.

Elephant went on to become big again and life in the savannah was back to normal.

THE END

So, like I say, hope you enjoyed that.  Do let me know what you think.

Stay beyoutiful bigyoutifuls!

RayRay xx

The Big Butterfly

As I concentrate on finishing my book about plus size living in and amongst all my other projects I wanted to share some snippets from it for this post although not a lot.  Some of it is from my book introduction and then mixed in 90% or so is my train of thought about the topic.

It occurs to me that throughout life I have always been a late bloomer. I am the eldest of 5 and I can pretty much say that I was the last to have always done anything my younger siblings did way before me!  Don't get it twisted though, there are some things, as the eldest I was bound to have experienced first which is the natural order of things but....I generally bloomed later than I should.  If I had any regret or hurt feelings about this I don't remember feeling them too much because I always inherently seemed to know that everyone uniquely had to do things within their own time.  I have a way about knowing things instinctively sometimes but I'll share that with you another time.  This is how it was with me growing up.  It wasn't that it was okay with me that I was always doing things last for if I ever forgot I was sure to be reminded by the ever conscientious society around me.  Always helping me feel bad about myself in case I forgot. Lol.  You know what I mean don't you.  In any case I knew that my life, ordered by God (as I am a believer) had different time scales from siblings or anyone else.  Like when, if like me, you watch a lot of youtube clips and there are many stops along the way on a clip where adverts play.  Some start at the beginning, some a little later, some in the middle and some at the end.  Each youtube clip is different where the film stops for the advert. The uploader has determined where the clip will stop to play the advert and in the same way I feel God has done this with my life.  

At 42, despite long term relationships I have never been married or had children.  It isn't really about my weight here.  Or that I couldn't find anyone to marry me but that I knew it was not my time yet. The whole world will balk at this! Lol.  At 42 some will consider me to be a true spinster!  On the shelf, done and dusted.  This is so funny to me.  Because it is only now that I begin to feel ready for marriage.  I feel I have gained enough understanding in my life experience to be a good partner to someone and exercised and developed enough strength in my to overcome the problems that do come in a marriage.  And I am so excited.  Woowee am I excited! I never felt or showed the slightest interest in weddings before.  I thought they were a lot of trouble for nothing.   A day.  I didn't get it.  I loved attending them.  Oh yes, I sure did.  But I didn't think I wanted a wedding for myself.  I tell you what?!  Now?!  I love planning my own!  Not just the wedding, but the honeymoon, the home etc.  And guess what folks?  I'm loving it!!!  But there will be some people who will shriek at me "what?  42?!  Stay on the shelf!".  Lol.  No way José! ;)

I'm going to university at 42, I'm changing my life, my looks, everything!  I'm ready for this stage at 42 when others did it at 22.  My school friend is a grandmother now!  Amazing.  So happy for her but I'm not sure about kids at my age now.  If I don't have them it was meant to be.  I'm a great aunty.  Love it.  Love my niece and my nephews and the more to surely come.  If I have step children through marriage I'll love them as well.  

My weight has been a huge part of me hiding inside my cocoon these last two decades of my adult life.  I denied myself because society told me that was right.  That it was right to deny myself and punish myself too for inflicting my big size upon them.  But folks, this big caterpillar of a woman, slow and late is currently encased and wrapped up in a big cocoon and I'm getting ready to bust on up out of it!  Oh yeah! I'm tapping away at the end of my cocoon, getting ready to fly! 

Stay beyoutiful bigyoutifuls!

RayRay   a.k.a The Big Butterfly!