Gastric Bypass Surgery: Last Chance Saloon? I Don't Think So!

If you read my blog regularly then you'll know that I have been preaching self awareness where our plus size bodies are concerned and research into the medical information on obesity we are given in order to really get at the bottom of health for the plus size.  A blog post or two back I posted that my doctor had insisted that to get my health back on track I would need gastric bypass surgery.  I insisted I wanted to lose weight slowly myself and over a considerable amount of time so as not to 'shock' my body (especially as it has taken a considerable amount of time to put the weight on) but he was insistent that with my condition it was an absolute urgency.  I wasn't comfortable with this and came home to post this to you all.  I still am pondering the decision and it was when doing some research when I came upon Lisa's youtube vlog.  It was like an Amen!  She echoed everything I have said or thought about weight loss surgery options and I wanted to share this with you.  I have decided I want to lose the weight myself.  The surgery like all things health today is a very risky quick fix and it feels like the attitude is well yes it's risky but you may as well die trying?!  You're going to die anyway if you're obese they seem to be saying so why not risk death to make yourself more acceptable and visually appealing to society?  I began to question the doctor's decision to put me forward for the surgery.  I asked what it was about my health that was so bad it required urgent life risking surgery.  The response?  My back ached and my recurring plantar faciitis.  Really?!  On that basis?  Well also joint pain he said.  Was he saying smaller people didn't get a lifetime's worth of back pain or plantar fasciitis?  That can't be true since smaller people get these too.  I don't see them being recommended for risky surgery.  I've always felt that when a doctor sees an obese person enter their office and as caring and compassionate a person these doctors might be they just don't have the necessary information or ability to help.  They become deaf and dumb to what you're telling them and without saying have given up on you before you've had a chance to explain. I met a man at the airport this week whilst travelling back from Germany.  A standard sized man who preaching to me the wonders of alternative and holistic medicine regarding my weight loss.  I listened intently.  You know why?  He was not coming from an accusatory place.  He seemed very knowledgeable about what he was saying and told me where I could go to validate what he was saying.  I did!  That is what I should have been getting from my doctor instead of putting me under the knife!  He explained that his wife and daughter had similar bodies and chemical make up through their genes and both had been ill for many years.  The doctors because like with obesity don't actually study all medical topics for considerable lengths of time in medical college so when you go to them they are searching medical journals for the answer.  They don't know!  I keep telling you this.  It baffles me why they are the authority on where to go if you are obese?!  It's like going to the butchers for advice on vegetables!  They know a bit about nutrition but unless they specialise in obesity you might as well try Dr Google yourself! Anyway they both tried alternative medical therapies and are doing much better.  But I'll put a disclaimer here:  You should always start by seeing your doctor and follow their advice as far as you are able.  If you get results all well and good.  But this is where I say to my fellow plus sized persons Research, research, research!!!  If you have a medical condition related to your weight go to your doctor by all means but find out what else is out there and make sure they know a little more about obesity than just its study of one part of a term or module at medical college!  Some ethical health professionals who have not been influenced by drug companies and artificial food agencies are helping people like us plus sized to achieve health the realistic and more achievable way!  Lisa speaks about some in this clip.  I'll put some links in the bottom of this post for you to check out for yourself.  But you need to learn about your body.  Seriously.  Study yourself like your studying for a degree!  What do you crave?  Where are you always sore?  What medicines tend to work for you?  etc. etc. etc.  Study your personality and moods as well. What are they linked to? Not all but most of us end up with a lot weight which stems from an emotional issue.  Do you recognise this?  Do you know what the problem is?  Find out!  Find out what foods you like and which you dislike.  Are you a late sleeper or an early riser?  You better know yourself! There is so much to know.  I keep finding things out about myself and it's exciting as well as frightening sometimes but overall it brings a comfort to know who you are.  Once you know this you will be able to identify how to solve your weight issues in a safe way.  Just an example of what I discovered about myself.  I love carbs!  I eat huge portions at meal times.  So I've been making a small changes in that area.  One meal a day I can have carbs.  Cuts it down but not out!  That's my thing.  I'll try it.  If it doesn't work I'll try something else.  I also found a recipe online for a pasta made from courgettes or carrots etc.  You cut long julienne strips of courgettes and cook like pasta.  Add a protein sauce of your choice.  I can have a huge amount so it fills and satisfies but it's a vegetable not a carb so it tricks the mind a little.  I will keep experimenting until I find what's right for me.  When I have finished 'designing' my healthy eating programme I will be on my way to some weight loss and a healthy me.  That's just one example of a change or changes I made by studying myself.   Look out for my ebook coming soon with lots of tips for plus size living.  It will include health & hygiene advice, travel advice, home living advice, etc.  I'll let you know when it's on Amazon.  I'm putting the final touches to it as we speak.  Within the month it will be on there.  But if you're considering weight loss surgery and you're not sure you want to do it watch Lisa's video.  Drop her a line if you have questions or check out the links below for contact details to query.  If you want to go ahead and have the surgery then I also applaud you for the bravery and courage to regain your life.  No path to a healthy life is completely wrong. Only when it is forced upon you!  Learn about you!  You are the first step to discovering healthy weight loss.  Find friends.  You don't have to do it alone.  A support Group is a good place to start. You don't even have to leave your house!  If you can't find one start one online.  There are many like you.



Stay beyoutiful   bigYoutifuls!



RayRay xx



http://180degreehealth.com/

http://eastwesthealing.com/

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Eat-Fat-Lose-Healthy-Alternative/dp/0452285666

Summer! Summer! Summer!

Have we been blessed or what?!  Seriously here in usually grey, cloudy, rainy UK it has been a scorcher of a season!  It's so warm I can barely be to be outdoors in the middle of the day when it feels hottest to me.  It's been no different in Bonn Germany where I was visiting friends for the second time this year.  I love holidaying in Europe and Germany is one of my favourite places to be believe it or not.  Bonn in particular.  Not just because it's where my childhood friend resides with her German husband and daughter but because it really is a beautiful town/city.  I like to think it's one made for me. Now, I could have gone to the beach somewhere I suppose like many others or to some other exotic location but I love my European holidays.  Sitting in the cool 'bier' gardens (not actually drinking beer but tall glasses of gorgeous fruit drinks) under the sun umbrellas and as it got too hot going in to the safety of the welcoming icy cool air con.  Just wonderful.  I spent a longer time in Bonn this time so it wasn't rushed as usual.  Spending time with my friend is always a joy as we enjoy the same things.  Round the corner from where she lives is a cute garden/ nursery type shop we pass by to get the tram so you can imagine my delight when in the window I spotted these coll plus size mini garden statues for sale!  How wonderful!  If I could have carried one (too heavy for the plane journey and too costly at customs) I would have!  What a cool idea.  And you know what?!  They were selling like hot cakes!  There were but a few left by then end of my holiday on my way to the tram to catch my plane back to England. Loved it!

    

You know I have to say I love the German's attitude towards the fat person. Though I don't have to look into their faces to know they are curious about how someone like me gets that big I love that they respect me enough as a human being to never smirk, laugh, rudely comment in my face!  I have been coming to Bonn for years and I have never once been fat shamed.  It makes me comfortable to go about my business and enjoy myself when I want to without fear of being ridiculed.  If they do it at least it's so I never know.  I honestly prefer that.  In England when I wear my Keep Calm I'm Fat & Friendly shirt. The reactions to the message on my T Shirt are strange.  It either gives license to shame me, or they attack me for admitting I'm big or they are downright angered that I appear proud to be fat (disgusting is what they actually think).  In Germany the reaction was interest, laughter - in a nice way, pat of on the back and even positive discussion.  People genuinely wanted a fat person's view on obesity.  I don't back away from intelligent debate.  But I won't argue with the ignorant. 

Sorry, I didn't get to the Ulla Popken shop again this time.  It was way too hot, like a sauna and I wasn't feeling like I was feeling my best, enough to interview etc.  But I will return to Bonn God willing and will blog this amazing story of Ulla Popken.  One of the plus size fashion pioneers of all time!  In my opinion.  It's a great story and I'm sure my blog readers will want to see pictures of One of Ulla's first stores in Germany.  Coincidently, I think Bonn was Bach resided and there is a lovely museum type house to visit etc.   Interesting place and all for future blog posts.

Asides short walks along Bonn's beautiful Rheine River, absolutely breathtaking, I was in Bonn to do a lot of writing to concentrate on my various writing projects.  I am pleased to say some have reached completion and others are close to.  Also, ideas for other books flood my mind.  But with this blog, my university work to begin again in September finding time will be difficult so the time in Bonn was well spent.  I'm so excited about the blog.  Just when I think I can't keep up I'm reinspired by others in the plus size community to touch on issues facing the plus size int his world.  I can't help myself.  I have so much to say. So bear with me.  I have loads of ideas which I hope will inspire you.

One of my biggest treats from my trip to Bonn was cherries!  I ate huge amounts!  Dark, red, juicy fat, sweet sweet cherries.  My friend bought them everyday for us to eat as snacks with our spritzers!  It was a treat because I was able to eat my fill without feeling guilty that they had cost so much!  My eyes water at the price you pay in England for a palm full of cherries!  But in Germany they were so cheap.  Yum! Yum! Yum! 

Sadly, the summer so far has been a little sad too for me.  A dear friend from my adolescent years in Africa passed away after a short illness.  We knew he was seriously ill but there always seemed it was not imminent and for me the hard part was that I should have been in better touch so that I could have at least said some sort of goodbye.  Really sad.  Plus the global news has really been rocky these past few weeks/months.  The plane tragedies, the wars, the battles.  All very sad.  So whilst I have been enjoying my summer I do not forget those who are suffering from loss of loved ones or who are living in war conditions or having to fight wars.  

I do not forget the poor and the needy and all this is a reminder to me that I can, need to and will do more.  I encourage anyone, if anyone, who reads my blog to remember also and do what they can.  Money is tight for us all but if you can spare it give it.  If you have something in your house to give away donate it to whichever cause is on your heart and if you have nothing at all then if you pray then pray.  I will try to pray and do something.  I may reach out in a future post regarding my cause/charity etc.  

So folks that's summer so far.  Posts will come more frequently now so look out for these and let me have your comments.

Stay beautiful   bigYoutifuls!

RayRay xx

PS-If you want a Keep Calm, I'm Fat & Friendly tee shirt they are on sale for £20 up to 4xl and come in White Tee/Black Print, Black Tee/White Print, Royal Blue/White Print and Navy Tee/Silver Print.  Email me at riaserve@hotmail.co.uk to order.

What The Dickens?!

            

And so following on from last fat shaming post imagine my horror when I discovered one of my ultimate favourite authors Charles Dickens was a kind of fat shamer!  Uggh!  Really?  Not another of my favourite authors falling off their perch.  You see a few years back on watching a documentary about Enid Blyton I was stunned to find in her personal life that as a mother to her won children she was lacking.  Almost cold and and unfeeling.  And that she made poor life choices which questioned her moral compass.  How could she write such happy magical stories for children yet be this other creature in real life?  It baffles me still today. I still like her books.  Very much so.  And I love to collect the.  But it's a different kind of like now knowing what I know about her. 

Well imagine finding out that another of my favourites Charles Dickens who wrote such fantastically wonderful victorian stories was a cruel man. Almost all his tales are ones where good overcomes evil and call upon people to reach into their hearts and to reach out to humanity regardless of the strict victorian rules of society which bound and constrained them.  Were he alive today you might be mistaken in thinking that Charles Dickens would be a supporter of the last remaining element of society such as fat shaming and oppressing/surprising the plus size.  Why not?  That is what he wrote in almost all of his stories.  Support for the person needlessly harrased.  Mistaken you surely would be when you look a little deeper than his carefully manicured image.  

I read that Charles Dickens was in fact a terrible husband to hiss long suffering wife Catherine Hogarth Dickens and whilst he cared for his children there is little evidence of his great devotion for them.  His wife was a plus size woman especially after having borne him 10 children and suffering many more miscarriages.  The toll this took on her body, her emotions and her psychological state cannot be told or imagined.  And while she was bearing his children he was indulging in extra marital excursions with a young 18 year old actress.  The actress is rumoured not to have been his first adulterous affair and it is thought he had affairs with two of Catherine's sisters as well, first a young Mary Hogarth who died and then Georgina Hogarth.  Catherine was the victorian "good wife" of the time and endured his scathing disdain and disgust of her.  And how was she repaid?  He publicly divorced her.citing that she was a bad mother and made disparaging remarks about her weight to friends.  In victorian times doing this was like killing her.  The divorce shame was always on the woman.  But it was not enough for him.  He had to add insult to injury by fat shaming her!

"In April 1856 Dickens wrote to John Forster in reference to his wife: "I find that the skeleton in my domestic closet is becoming a pretty big one." He also said that he feared that "one happiness I have missed in life, and one friend and companion I have never made." Dickens began to question Catherine's intelligence in front of friends. He wrote to a female acquaintance: "It is more clear to me more than ever that Kate (his own daughter) is as near being a Donkey, as one of that sex... can be." Dickens also disliked the way his wife had put on weight. He told Wilkie Collins how he had taken her to his favourite Paris restaurant where she ate so much that she "nearly killed herself".

Well maybe she ate because she was so unhappy or she just enjoyed her food. A lot of us are emotional eaters aren't we?  But even after all this Catherine Dickens never shamed Charles in return.  Though she must have had plenty of 'fodder' for the rumour mills of the time.  She could have destroyed him!   But it appears she still cared for him and on her passing handed over letters to her daughter for the British Museum from Charles showing that he loved her once.

So, fat as he might have felt her to have become which he claimed made her so unappealing in his eyes he was the true loser in this scenario for failing to see the depth of his wife's love for him and not recognising her true strength of character. Another woman would have revenged herself and watched his demise which would have been in her control given the antics he got up to when he wasn't writing. 

You can read the full sad story here:

http://spartacus-educational.com/PRhogarthC2.htm

A film about Dickens call The Invisble woman starring Ralph Fiennes and Joanna Scanlan as Catherine if not already showing will show in Cinemas soon.

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/thick-of-it-star-joanna-scanlan-says-its-clear-why-she-is-charles-dickens-invisible-woman-8886175.html

So here's to you Catherine Dickens, victorian plus size heroine.  And to you Charles Dickens?  Shame on you!

Stay beyoutiful  bigyoutiful!

RayRay xx

PS - Jane Austen is another of my favourite authors of that time.  I will not be reading her biography - I don't want to know!  ;)