I haven't been on here for while because I recently lost my father and am in mourning. I have never experienced such heartbreak and God forbid that I should do so again for a long time. I feel inconsolable. I miss my dad so much and I hate that he had to go. I haven't known how to carry on without him. But today I am thinking how much my dad loved me. He always worried about my weight. Always cut out magazine adverts for diet pills and asked me each time I saw him if I'd lost any weight. You know how you feel when people do that sometimes and it feels as though they are accusing you, judgemental and patronising? I never felt that from my dad. His was genuine concern because he worried about the health implications of my weight. Not about how I looked because I was big. I felt the love each time he asked because it was in that way that said "I'd love for you to lose some weight but I accept and love you no matter what size you are". It was not conditional whereupon he wanted me to lose weight and could only love me 89% and I'd only get to 100% when I lost the weight. Have you ever felt that with people in your life or who you meet? Until you lose the weight I can't really be your freind? I can't promote you because of your weight? Arrghh!! Isn't it ridiculous?! My dad din't go on about it and never made an issue of it. He would just mention it and it was done. He was always more interested in how I was doing and if I was happy. I love my dad so much for that. He felt that even if I was big that I should take care of my health and was always encouraging me to take vitamins and eat healthy foods. He did the same with my siblings who are not as big. He treated us equally even in that.
Hi uncodnitional love I can see so much more clearly now that he is gone. It's teaching me still that he loved me and I can love myself too as I am. That I can be healthy at my size. And I'm going to make those changes. I'll share with you my journey on that road. I'm not going on any diet! Make that clear right now!!! I believe to truly lose weight I need to make small unoticeable changes which I'll keep adding to and will share with you any tit bits along the way.
While I'm talking a bit about health I want to encourage all my plus size friends concerned about their weight and health to stay away from diets. The right foods for your body are as unique to you as your DNA. Formulaic diets don't work. If they did half the diet companies would be out of business! Trial and error. If you truly value health and you want to make changes. Don't go oeverboard. One step at a time. I've found out recently that I have a Vitamin D/ Calcium deficiency and so as a result could end up with brittle bone disease as well as bad arthritis. I already have signs of arthritis. I also recently had a Pulmonary Embolism. So I am doing my research and and looking at remedies and medicines that will suit my body to help cure me of these. That's where I'm starting. Some tend to start by taking an allergy test for foods they are allergic to and then attempt to erradicate those foods from their diet. It can even be as small a start as starting to take a multi vitamin a day. Do this 'organically' and whatever/ however it suits you. Enlist a "check up on me" buddy. My friend lives in another country and I've asked her to ask me about updates on my plans for my health. If she has time she can look into things for me too. I asked her because I know she cares for me whatever my size and involving her in this strengthens our friendship. I always joke with family and friends and say I'm on a five year diet but you know friends it is probably a more realistic time frame to lose weight. Slowly but surely is a stronger motto for me right now than fast and furious.
So ditch fast foods if you can but more importantly ditch fast diets!!! Stock up on abundant anmounts of unconditional love from your family and friends and let me challenge you to look for your one thing to change. Find the easiest thing that you can change to help you start when considering improving your health.
If you read this blog or are just passing by and you feel you really want to comment/ share what your one thing is - please do. I would really love to hear from you.
With tons of unconditional love!
Ray Ray xx
In memory of the the most loving father a girl could ever have. May he Rest in Peace. Jacques Michel Creisson (26.06.26 - 14.02.13)
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